Zzzzzz....Sleep Training

So you want me to put myself to sleep?!?

So like all parents, at some point you will have to "train" your child on getting a good nights sleep, more importantly how to self soothe themselves when they wake in the middle of the night or during a nap. Sloane's crutch for falling asleep is being rocked/held in our arms. We of course enjoy this, and don't have a problem rocking Sloane to sleep, but she does not remain asleep. When she wakes she is of course looking to be rocked back to sleep. Sloane has never sucked a pacifier nor a bottle, so her only knowledge of soothing comes from her parents in regards to sleep. More importantly, Sloane was not getting the amount of sleep that she desperately needed, and neither was Mommy. Therefore, sleep training was a must for us.

There are different methods used to sleep train children, and the best advice we have is to choose the method that works best for you and your family, and falls in line with your parenting beliefs. Or, you may do what we did and combine methods and make it your own.

The three common methods are The Ferber Method, which is the CIO (Cry It Out) approach, The No Cry Approach as well as The Sleep Lady, which is a combination of a no cry method and Ferber.

We began by reading the book The Sleepeasy Solution which was recommended and given to us by a close Soror and friend of mine, who not only read the book, but also hired one of the authors as a sleep consultant. After reading the book and putting together an AWESOME Excel Spreadsheet with a schedule for Sloane we began our sleep training journey at 7:00 p.m. on Friday, August 16th.

WOW! Talk about emotionally and physically draining! The first night was filled with tears from both Sloane and Mommy! Each time I checked in with Sloane and she reached out for me to pick her up, and cried out "Ma-Ma!" I felt as though a piece of my Soul died.

I CANNOT DO THIS!

Sloane cried for an hour and 30 minutes straight! When I looked at the monitor, I would see her turning her precious little head towards the door looking for me to come in her room, though when I came in I didn't pick her up to rock her to sleep. Ugh! This is too much! Ash took over the check-ins towards the end of the hour, though he was just as exhausted and emotionally drained as I was. I don't know if this method works for us or Sloane. However, we were determined to stick with it. After all, this is for Sloane, right?

After Sloane finally cried herself to sleep by 8:30 p.m., she did not wake until we woke her the next morning at 8:30 a.m. Now we had to deal with the same methods for naps. Ugh!

Well, you guessed it, she cried. She would cry louder during our check-ins, and only slept for roughly an hour out of the 2 hours she was supposed to sleep for her morning nap, and 30 minutes for the hour she was supposed to sleep for her afternoon nap. But, we pressed on...

Well, after the second night of Sloane crying for a solid hour and 45 minutes at bedtime , we decided that this method was not the right one for our family. Back to the drawing board.

After  my posts on Facebook, where I received words of encouragement and virtual hugs from friends, a former colleague of mine told me about The Sleep Lady. I immediately called Ash at work and told him about this, and I also bought the book for the iPad. I didn't know if it would work for us, but I definitely knew that allowing my child to cry for almost two hours, where she finally feel asleep from exhaustion, did not sit well with me, nor did I see this as Sloane learning how to self soothe herself and put herself to sleep. I will say that the one thing I did like about The Sleepeasy Solution was the schedule that you put together for your baby.

So, we read The Sleep Lady book and decided this was DEFINITELY the better method for our family. Yes, there will be tears, but we never leave Sloane alone in the room while she is awake, at least not initially.

The Sleep Lady method allows you to sit near your baby's crib and gradually move further away from the crib until you are out of the room. You also do not put your baby down awake and fully alert, but you put them down drowsy, so they still learn to put themselves to sleep, but without feeling abandoned. So we decided we would utilize The Sleep Lady method, and we added in our "Team Sharp" sleep training rules as well.

1. Bath
2. Pajama time and massage with lotion and mobile music playing
3. Bed time story
4. Jazz is then played as we cuddle and rock (Myles Davis "Flamingo Sketches")
5. Prayers
6. Final cuddle with Mommy; Mommy leaves the room
7. Daddy then cuddles
8. White noise is turned on and Daddy holds Sloane until she is drowsy
9. Daddy puts Sloane in her crib and cradles her head/neck area for about a minute
10. Sloane falls asleep
11. Daddy remains in room for 5 minutes
12. Nighty Night for Sloane!

Sloane sleeps from 7:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. with naps from 9:30-11:30 a.m. and 2-3:00 p.m.

For her nap time I follow a similar ritual as with bedtime.

1. Read a book
2. Mobil music is played for 5 min. while rocking
3. White noise is turned on as Sloane gets drowsy
4. Mommy places Sloane in her crib and cradles her head/neck area for about a minute
6. Sloane falls asleep
7. Mommy remains in room for 5 minutes
8. Nap time for Sloane!

The first two weeks of this method in regards to her night time sleep have been good. When she has awaken she has often put herself back to sleep. When she fusses for longer than 5 minutes, Ash will go in and settle her down by putting his hands on her head and chest area, never picking her up unless she gets really upset, allowing her to put herself back to sleep. We have introduced a "lovey" for Sloane, which is her thumbie elephant. She does pick it up when she gets a little upset to comfort herself and we are happy about that.

Naps have of course been very tricky which is the norm for sleep training. I have noticed that if Sloane does not nap during the day she will not sleep well at night because she is "over tired" at this point. When she naps during the day she sleeps very well during the night. Naps are improving, with the difficult nap being the 2 hour nap in the morning. She will sleep for an hour straight and then wake. So, we are thinking that if she gets her solid 12 hours of sleep during the night, then she only needs 2 hours of naps during the day, receiving the 14 hours of sleep that she needs on a daily basis.

All in all we are happy that we are doing this with Sloane, because this is a necessary skill that she will need for the rest of her life. Getting a good nights rest is important. We really like the schedule as well because it makes it easier to make plans as a family, and my husband and I have our nights back which is very important!

We have almost completed a month of utilizing this sleep method and schedule, and the training continues for Sloane and her parents. Though this has been the most challenging thing thus far in our parenting journey, we wouldn't change our decision to sleep train Sloane. The journey continues so stay tuned for the update!

Until then we pray that our precious daughter has more days of peaceful and restful sleep filled with dreams of angels.

Sloane asleep with her Ellie =)

Forever I am...Sloane’s Mommy